Bumblebee Girl on Mission Possible

Posts tagged ‘believe’

Today I did it

I gathered enough courage to go to the local swimming pool and it might sound crazy to you but for me it was such a huge deal that I’m so over the moon.

It’s about 11 years ago that I’ve been in a local swimming pool after that I’ve only been swimming in the ocean and fjords in the summer and the last 4 years only in the company of others with close relationship. The reason is that after a flue went into my nerve system in april 2011 my dyspraxia (motoric control disorder) in the legs has increased. While I can jump, run, dance etc. like every body else, then my legs are having problems adjusting to walking on the ground and carry my full weight, when I’ve been weightless in water or standing on a S.U.P. board or running on a treadmill . It’s so embarrassing and annoying so therefore I’ve avoided being alone in these situations. On good days it’s like walking on legs that are sleeping but on bad days I hardly can control my legs.

I love swimming in the ocean so when I went to Bondi I knew that I had to just do it.  My big concern was how people would react because people can’t see that I’ve dyspraxia and yes the lifeguards on Bondi shouted at me one of the first days I was going to shore after taking a bath. I couldn’t hear what they were saying with their megaphone because of the waves but the way my legs gave in under me they probably though I was 1) drunk or 2) that the rip was giving me problems.

When I surfed/SUPed I had an instructor who supported me and knew what was going on so I felt safe and protected. At the same time my instructor wasn’t just a random instructor because I know I need PT’s and instructors that are patient, bossy and an empathic/caring side.

So you see going to the local swimming pool alone is a huge challenge for me. But I did it today and it was a success. My technique was so good that I had to switch to the lane reserved for fast swimmers. I managed 300 m in good pace, so I’m so happy.

I have a dream and I’m going for it

I woke up today (my day off work to study day) and my head was buzzing. Since sunday night I’ve been totally out of sync and I needed grounding, clarity and focus or I will not make it. Therefore, after a good chat with a friend of mine, I sat down and began to write. Instead of just scribbling on a piece of paper that goes on the wall or in a drawer I have chosen to make a page here on my site to hopefully inspire somebody with it. If I can help just one person to keep following his or her dream or to start following a dream it’s all worth it 🙂

It all started long ago but I’ll start last friday. I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I was ready to give up everything. Fortunately I had a session with my PT and I went because I know that when I feel the most reluctant it’s the most important day to go. My PT knows that I’ve done kick-boxing earlier in life and he is good at reading me so when I had nothing left in me he gave me boxing gloves on. Man … my PT know how to get me to fight to the last blood drop kicking and beating.

When I get the gloves on I go into another world – like being 100% in the present and only one focus. Like a meditation where the mind shuts every thing out. The only thing I got was a picture of me on the SUP board on ‪#‎BondiBeach‬ and that kept me going.

All weekend my body was so sore and then one more session monday. I told my PT I was sore and he did just like the kick-boxing trainers I have had – he made me work even harder all the way to physically exhaustion. After the session I sat in the sauna stretching, relaxing and my brain flat lined but he had started a process he made me fight instead of surrendering. Therefore I’m so ready for the next round.

So here is my dream and my blueprint

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